the river runs red
as tears flow
and darkness caves in.
bliss.
Tag: death
i understand
it’ll hurt
the final look
as i walk out the door.
the final smile
as i think about you
and the memories.
the final hug
as i hold on just long enough,
hoping you notice
my shaking.
the final tear
as i let go
in the silence of my own,
my only company
the blade.
the final goodbye
as i close my eyes
to the peace i have been seeking.
it’ll hurt,
but you’ll forget.
i understand.
🪦
it calls to me,
inviting my soul
with a soft embrace.
maybe i can rest my eyes
for a bit,
in this cool grave.
i’m awfully tired after all.
tonight.
no more tears.
they have said everything
my mouth could not.
no more
counting the hours
until another endless night
finally loosens its grip
around my neck.
i am tired of pretending
i can carry this
through the hours.
so tonight,
i think
i’ll set it down.
not forever-
just here,
just for a moment.
tonight,
i will let the silence
hold what i cannot.
let the silence
fill the dark
as my heart crumbles.
⌛
rain plummets
as the storm passes overhead,
painting the canvas beneath.
a clearing in the clouds
indicates the finale,
the endless battle
coming to a close.
silence fills the crowd
surrounding the hole,
more rain collecting in the grass.
will this be a celebration
of the fight ending?
or
will this be a mourning
of the war lost?
to one, a victory.
to others, not.
this way.
this way
i’m tired of being this way
of forcing a smile
that never reaches me,
of pretending positivity
can quiet everything
that refuses to be silent.
i can’t escape the stress,
can’t outrun my own thoughts,
can’t seem to think clearly
or act properly.
and the worst part
is knowing i want to change,
but feeling like
i don’t even know
how to become someone
who can finally breathe.
someone who can blink
without tears falling.
🎆🎇
notes build up as fuses are lit,
silence invading the audience,
anticipation rising like the tide.
what a show it has been-
long to some, short to many,
but an experience to all.
all shows must end eventually
and this one?
it’s ready.
it remains
it keeps knocking,
begging to come in
and introduce itself.
introduce itself as peace,
as a new way to sing
in a world of silence.
silence that echoes
through the halls,
numbing to the mind.
numbness that will disappear,
but never stay quite gone
as the roof begins to crack.
the cracks scatter
and foundation cries,
unable to withstand the weight.
the weight of it all,
crashing down with force,
leaving only the door.
the door,
in which the knocking
continues.
🪦
one after another,
hand in hand,
step by step,
the job will be complete.
“keep going, you’re almost there!”
“don’t give up, not yet.”
“just a little bit further…”
“i’m here for you.”
all empty,
unlike the grave i just dug
with the shovel they provided me.
epilogue
the windows stay shut,
but the breeze still finds its way in-
an unwanted whisper through the cracks
no one bothers to seal.
the branches claw at the roof,
like Death attempting to
take the last breath
i never wanted to keep.
some mornings,
the mirror forgets to show me
at all-
reminding me how
empty i am.
and the storm clouds-
they keep lowering themselves,
inch by inch,
like they’re trying
to carry me quietly
away.
maybe i should let them.
i think i will.
