i’m sorry

i’m sorry i couldn’t get back up
and finish the fight

i’m sorry i didn’t tell you
that i loved you

i’m sorry i couldn’t keep my promise
to be there forever

i’m sorry i didn’t see you smile
one last time

i’m sorry i couldn’t give you the stars
and the moon

i’m sorry i didn’t do more
while i was here

i’m sorry i couldn’t block out
the darkness in my soul

but mostly,
i’m sorry i didn’t say goodbye

rain plummets
as the storm passes overhead,
painting the canvas beneath.

a clearing in the clouds
indicates the finale,
the endless battle
coming to a close.

silence fills the crowd
surrounding the hole,
more rain collecting in the grass.

will this be a celebration
of the fight ending?
or
will this be a mourning
of the war lost?

to one, a victory.

to others, not.

↔️

a dirt path winds,
guiding a lost soul to harmony
in a world of chaos.

the scenery appears to repeat,
the same footprints overlapping
and hope begins to fade.

is it all the same?

is it at all worth it?

as despair sets in,
a fork appears,
setting up a choice-

go left,
continue down the path
and replay the story again.

go right,
step into darkness
and rest with despair.

it’s been a long journey,
maybe some rest is needed.

maybe it’s right.

how

how is one meant to cry
if the tears refuse to fall?

how is one meant to smile
if the pain is too much?

how is one meant to push
if the burden is too heavy?

how is one meant to shine
if the rain doesn’t stop?

how is one meant to grow
if the room is too small?

how is one meant to love
if the heart is cracked?

how is one meant to speak
if the words remain silent?

how is one meant to wait
if the train is moving?

how is one meant to heal
if the wound is too deep?

how is one meant to continue
if the desire is gone?

at the edge

i stood at the edge,
the wind tasting of salt and freedom,
the drop and the silence below
calling themselves peace.

i used to think that falling
was the only way to stop from breaking,
that the world would understand
why the air didn’t catch me.

my toes curled over stone,
the ocean marking my target
as i took a deep breath in,
bracing for the shove.

but it never came.

the horizon sang
with a beauty and hum
i will never forget-
the sky golden and alive
as i opened my eyes.

my ache is still here,
but it beats with my heart-
asking me to stay.

i took my step back,
not in fear,
but in wonder
at how much more there is to live for.