Tag: depression

🔌

hollowed out and quiet,
the days are just rooms
i walk through
because the doors happen to be open.

there is no gold at the end of the hall,
no sudden light,
just the steady hum of the furnace
and the shadows stretching
at four in the afternoon.

i am a vessel with the plug pulled,
light as a dried leaf,
floating not because i have a destination,
but because the air is moving
and i am still here to be moved.

no mountain to climb,
no breath to catch,
no star to shine.

just the slow, gray peace
of existing
without needing a reason why.

✍️

some days,
the pencil is like a stone-
heavy and unmoving
as the paper remains empty.

my mind wanders,
seeking out the passion
and emotions i tend to embrace,
but they are gone
just like the words scattered
amongst the stars.

i attempt to speak
but my mouth is dry,
craving water like i crave happiness.

all the words i want to say
are stuck in my throat,
waiting for their moment-
choking me instead.

i need my strength,
not to write,
but to be Me again.

it remains

it keeps knocking,
begging to come in
and introduce itself.

introduce itself as peace,
as a new way to sing
in a world of silence.

silence that echoes
through the halls,
numbing to the mind.

numbness that will disappear,
but never stay quite gone
as the roof begins to crack.

the cracks scatter
and foundation cries,
unable to withstand the weight.

the weight of it all,
crashing down with force,
leaving only the door.

the door,
in which the knocking
continues.

📉

my heart will never beat the same,
stopping where your name used to live.
the air no longer fills my lungs,
it just sits-
thin, uncertain,
like it’s afraid to stay.

the sun still rises,
but it doesn’t warm me completely.
music still plays,
but every note falls off.

the world moves forward,
and i still follow,
half-awake, half-gone,
trying to remember
what it felt like
to be whole.

my time will come
where i can take off the layers
and feel the love
of the life that i deserve.

at the edge

i stood at the edge,
the wind tasting of salt and freedom,
the drop and the silence below
calling themselves peace.

i used to think that falling
was the only way to stop from breaking,
that the world would understand
why the air didn’t catch me.

my toes curled over stone,
the ocean marking my target
as i took a deep breath in,
bracing for the shove.

but it never came.

the horizon sang
with a beauty and hum
i will never forget-
the sky golden and alive
as i opened my eyes.

my ache is still here,
but it beats with my heart-
asking me to stay.

i took my step back,
not in fear,
but in wonder
at how much more there is to live for.