πŸ“‰

my heart will never beat the same,
stopping where your name used to live.
the air no longer fills my lungs,
it just sits-
thin, uncertain,
like it’s afraid to stay.

the sun still rises,
but it doesn’t warm me completely.
music still plays,
but every note falls off.

the world moves forward,
and i still follow,
half-awake, half-gone,
trying to remember
what it felt like
to be whole.

my time will come
where i can take off the layers
and feel the love
of the life that i deserve.

at the edge

i stood at the edge,
the wind tasting of salt and freedom,
the drop and the silence below
calling themselves peace.

i used to think that falling
was the only way to stop from breaking,
that the world would understand
why the air didn’t catch me.

my toes curled over stone,
the ocean marking my target
as i took a deep breath in,
bracing for the shove.

but it never came.

the horizon sang
with a beauty and hum
i will never forget-
the sky golden and alive
as i opened my eyes.

my ache is still here,
but it beats with my heart-
asking me to stay.

i took my step back,
not in fear,
but in wonder
at how much more there is to live for.

πŸ€–

rusted gears grinding
as the body fell apart,
forcing itself to push
without any strength.

sparks caught,
oil spilled,
rhythm ruined by the stutter,
but the machine still had some life.

in the quiet hours one day,
a soft click took place-
a slow whir
as the heart found its beat.

the pulse has returned,
running with a smoothness
it has not had in years.
still scratched, still scarred,
but humming-
a machine that remembers breaking
and still tracks time beautifully.

i am free.

it took time,
but i am free
from the torment of fear,
of myself.

i hand the map to the wind,
no longer needing the guidance
as i opt for what was once insane to me-
a path of my own creation.

no crowd, no hand to hold-
only the river to keep me company
in a world of silence and peace.

i am the voice and the sound,
the ocean and the tide,
the storm and the calm after.

i am the soil and the seed,
and i control my destiny.

today

for so long,
the sky has been dark-
heavy with tears,
full of pressure.

clouds hold me down,
not letting light shine on me
as the days grow longer
and emotions buckle.

today, a mistake was made
and a gap was forgotten,
allowing a ray to reach me
and provide me warmth.

it did not heal me fully,
nor did it feel like joy,
yet,
but it felt like the first step
out of a locked room.

what if


what if i stop at the terminal
and watch my plane soar,
the return home
put on pause
as i restart

what if i step forward
and the world bends-
new streets, new faces,
the echo of my name
falling from mouths i don’t know

what if i leave behind
every familiar shadow,
every hand that ever held my own
to stand in the silence
of my own making

what if this is it-
the chosen moment
before the world trembles
and everything
becomes something else

what if it’s my time