Tag: sadness

what if


what if i stop at the terminal
and watch my plane soar,
the return home
put on pause
as i restart

what if i step forward
and the world bends-
new streets, new faces,
the echo of my name
falling from mouths i don’t know

what if i leave behind
every familiar shadow,
every hand that ever held my own
to stand in the silence
of my own making

what if this is it-
the chosen moment
before the world trembles
and everything
becomes something else

what if it’s my time

🐦

a cottage eases into the morning,
windows shining with gold.
the lake trying to rest,
sunlight whispering against its skin.

birds spread music,
dew clings to grass like glue,
coffee drifts warm through the air.

it feels unreal-
this world finally coming alive.

your hand in mine,
the horizon opens,
a quiet miracle spilling across the water
as it disappears to an alarm.

it’s time for the day to actually start,
and the dreams to stop.

temptation

the stars don’t glow the way they used to-
their light feels weak,
as if even the sky has grown tired
of pretending.

i watch them,
waiting for a spark to break through,
but they only fade,
distant and pale,
like the hollow parts of me.

the one is still there,
shining brighter than the others,
reminding me of what i seek
but cannot have.

there’s a dirt path
that keeps whispering my name,
its curve pulling me away
from the noise,
from the faces,
from myself.

i know where it leads-
to a place where i can vanish
without protest,
without sound,
like a shadow blending in
when the stars finally go dark.

for once,
maybe i’ll listen to temptation.

disguise

being like this,
it isn’t fun.

i want to cry
but my body forgets how.
i want to scream
but my throat chooses silence.

i don’t want to shake
but my hands reveal my secret,
full of shame
and embarrassment.

i don’t want to drown
but my thoughts continue to pour in,
plugging the drain
and overfilling.

i don’t want to be this way,
fighting my battles alone.
scared to show my pain,
happy to share my disguise.

i wish someone could see
past the skin i wear so well,
and grab my hand
to calm my storm.

night drive

the path opens,
my car turning onto it
as dirt and gravel whisper under tired tires.

off the map and off the road,
not a streetlight in sight
nor is there a reason to stop.

the moon attempts to accompany me,
as do the stars,
but to no avail-
this is meant to be done alone.

just the hum of the engine
and whatever’s left of me clinging-
to the wheel?
to the body i carry?

i don’t know where i am,
maybe that’s the point.

the silence feels oh so heavy,
as if it knows
i wouldn’t mind
if it let me disappear into it.