i never thought i’d make it.
not to here.
not to anywhere.
the fear kept me above the surface-
not hope,
it was never hope-
just the knowing
that if i went under
i might drag others down with me.
so i decided to float.
years blurred into a painting.
there were lights along the way.
faces.
hands that held mine without asking why they were cold-
why they were shaking.
moments so perfect they almost convinced me
this was worth living.
and sometimes,
i forgot to be afraid.
it happened more often.
the fear unraveling,
quickly disappearing.
until the day i noticed
it was gone.
no shadow trailing me.
no weight pulling at my ankles.
just still water.
too still.
and i understood-
the weight i thought was drowning me
was the only thing
keeping me afloat.
without it,
there is only the plunge.
the silence
and the knowledge
that the surface will not call me back.
that it is over.
Tag: poetry
🖤
it beats against my chest,
or at least it would
if it was still there.
absent,
a hole where it used to lie
with shadows filling it in.
i do not want it back
as it was the greatest gift
i could give outside of
my soul.
please take care of it-
it was meant to rest next to yours.
disguise
being like this,
it isn’t fun.
i want to cry
but my body forgets how.
i want to scream
but my throat chooses silence.
i don’t want to shake
but my hands reveal my secret,
full of shame
and embarrassment.
i don’t want to drown
but my thoughts continue to pour in,
plugging the drain
and overfilling.
i don’t want to be this way,
fighting my battles alone.
scared to show my pain,
happy to share my disguise.
i wish someone could see
past the skin i wear so well,
and grab my hand
to calm my storm.
✨
for you,
i would capture the stars
and show that
you shine brighter
than they ever will.
😢
it’s okay-
to mimic the rain,
to shatter the glass,
to run the faucet without care.
pain,
heartbreak,
fear,
tragedy,
life.
even the strongest
must cry sometimes.
rain doesn’t ruin.
some claim that rain ruins days-
washing away plans
as if they are not meant
to be rinsed sometimes.
as if the sky is not allowed to cry,
too full of emotion and struggle
to continue to shine and prosper.
one small puddle,
a forgotten umbrella,
or even just a rolled down window
and suddenly they hate it all.
but why view it with anger
and not beauty?
the dancing on rooftops,
flowing down hills,
shimmering in streetlights?
don’t hide from it-
embrace the joy from when
we were once young.
get soaked,
jump in those puddles,
celebrate the beauty of nature.
grab her hand and dance
in that empty parking lot,
laughing,
loving,
and remembering that this is
the beautiful world we live in.
make these moments worth it.
live without anger.
live with joy.
💤
one would think
that after resting for 26 years,
they would have energy.
energy to explore-
to run with speed,
to love with passion,
to write with fire,
to live without fear.
but no-
i am still so tired.
🌧️
another stormy day-
the sky screaming
as the clouds fight
and their tears fall.
they hit the windshield
as i commute to work,
reminding me that
i am not the only
broken one.
alone.
the trees whisper things i cannot hear,
their branches reaching like arms,
but not to hold me.
i walk aimlessly,
the moss remembering me,
footsteps tracking where i’ve already been.
it’s quiet
but not empty-
something watches.
i know i’m not alone,
and that’s what scares me most.
scares me for i am unsure
what is to come.
dull
the moon watches,
but no longer glows,
just distant and pale
as the nights cycle.
colors are blurs,
once vivid treasures
but now,
just
there.
the sky quit speaking,
the wind whistles less,
and even the flowers
seemed to stop trying.
rog's poems 