i am free.

it took time,
but i am free
from the torment of fear,
of myself.

i hand the map to the wind,
no longer needing the guidance
as i opt for what was once insane to me-
a path of my own creation.

no crowd, no hand to hold-
only the river to keep me company
in a world of silence and peace.

i am the voice and the sound,
the ocean and the tide,
the storm and the calm after.

i am the soil and the seed,
and i control my destiny.

today

for so long,
the sky has been dark-
heavy with tears,
full of pressure.

clouds hold me down,
not letting light shine on me
as the days grow longer
and emotions buckle.

today, a mistake was made
and a gap was forgotten,
allowing a ray to reach me
and provide me warmth.

it did not heal me fully,
nor did it feel like joy,
yet,
but it felt like the first step
out of a locked room.

what if


what if i stop at the terminal
and watch my plane soar,
the return home
put on pause
as i restart

what if i step forward
and the world bends-
new streets, new faces,
the echo of my name
falling from mouths i don’t know

what if i leave behind
every familiar shadow,
every hand that ever held my own
to stand in the silence
of my own making

what if this is it-
the chosen moment
before the world trembles
and everything
becomes something else

what if it’s my time

i rose.

i sat in the hole,
hands raw from clawing at stone,
eyes filled with tears.

for so long
the walls looked endless,
my voice unable to be heard.

but then-
a sliver of light
peaked over the edge,
dim, patient,
waiting for me to notice.

step by step
i rose,
bones aching,
heart unsure,
mind fearful.

when my fingers touched the edge
and the sun shined down on me,
soft and warm,
i knew
there was still a place
for me in this world.