break.

i wanted to write something here about my recent lack of posts over these last couple of months and my mental state regarding it all. poetry has been something that i have been so passionate about my entire life, and  hopefully will forever be something i enjoy doing. opening myself up to the world and posting my work for all to see has been an experience that has helped change me for the better and been a major factor in the way of breaking my shell. however, i would be lying if i said i did not feel like i have been losing my desire to write over these last 6 months.

i have countless times either picked up my pen and attempted to write in my journal or gotten behind a keyboard to try to type the thoughts out into my own art, but i have not been able to at a level that feels like.. me? i am not sure how to quite explain it but even with a recent boost of positive emotions in my life, i cannot find the words to put out writing that i deem acceptable.

i am hopeful that this is not me losing my desire to continue writing and simply a roadblock that my mind cannot figure a way around, but i am not sure at this point. i used to think my writing is dependent on a single emotion overwhelming me a bit by sort of “forcing” me to put thoughts to paper, but i’m not sure that is the case anymore. i have had a variety of emotions overwhelming me in the last couple of months but none have given me any desire to write. sure i have posted some here and there, but they are not ones i am fully happy with and moreso just me trying to keep this active.

with all of that being said, i am doing very well with my mental state currently. i would personally argue this is the happiest i have been with myself in a very long time and it’s not from any sources besides myself. i am focused on only me, my goals, and my life and that is something i have not done arguably ever. thank you to all that have supported. whether it’s loud or silent, i appreciate it and i feel it. i am going to disappear for a bit and if i ever come back to this site, i will be excited to share my work with you all that actually embodies me, jacob nathaniel roggensack.

thank you.